Mark had a calling. He had a talent, and it was something no one else could do. It wasn’t something he had learned. He’d had this gift all his life, although his mother hadn’t always appreciated it, and his wife certainly didn’t now. But Mark knew better than to let something like this go to waste.
He was the Rat Whisperer.
Aliens? They already live among us, you know. They’ve infiltrated Earth. People you see might not really be people. They’re masters of disguise; they can change their shapes. They can stretch out their mouths, make their teeth into fangs, and bite your head off. People say I’m crazy, but you believe me. Right? What are you doing with your mouth?
Does the sight of a bloody scalpel get you going in the morning? Are blue scrubs and white coats the height of fashion? How about doctors who are always better looking than real people? ER, Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs. The occasional Doogie Howser, M.D. episode. Call your cable operator today, and tell them you want the new Hospital Drama Channel.
I was blind until my fortieth birthday. My brother bought me an hour with a fortune teller. She was also a “spiritual healer”. And a phony. But somehow it worked on me, and I could see for the first time in my life. The light, colors, faces. It was too much to bear. But she couldn’t unheal me.
Albert Holland was misunderstood. It wasn’t his fault that people were too short-sighted to recognize the potential. They couldn’t see past their emotions, but Albert could forgive them. They weren’t blessed with his genius. But he needed his test subjects. So he must work in secret. It was for the good of humanity. They would understand.
RT750 had never met another human. He’d never left the room where he was incubated. He communicated with Terminal, and Robot saw to his physical maintenance. He’d never even thought to be lonely, until MB214. Terminal said it was a psychological experiment, but she changed RT750’s life. Until she malfunctioned. RT750 had never met another human.
We interrupt this program with breaking news this morning. Your family may have already noticed the missing presents. Last night, police stopped a swerving sleigh under the suspicion of flying under the influence. Santa Claus was arrested after tests revealed a blood alcohol level of twice the legal limit. Christmas is postponed until further notice.
It was our tradition to trim the tree on Christmas Eve, just my father and me. We start with the lights, then the popcorn and cranberry garland, though we usually eat more popcorn than ends up on the tree. Then the ornaments. But Dad’s not with us this year. He’s in Cheboygan with Grandma.
When the children placed the magic hat on the snowman’s head, he came to life. Without legs though, he couldn’t walk around. And with no mouth to speak of, only a stupid pipe sticking out of his face, he couldn’t speak. In fact, nobody knew he was alive. Melting away was a mercy.
When I was twenty, I made my first trip to the ocean. That was when the dreams started, and I’ve had them nightly since. I hear chanting in some inhuman language, guttural and unpronounceable words. But I begin to understand their meanings. They call me back to the sea. I must return.
Dr. Shelby knew the ethics committees would never permit a clinical trial. Without funding, his work would be destroyed. He couldn’t let that happen. This was too important to humanity.
He gave the injection to himself. Burning. Something was wrong. A dosage miscalculation! He must let them know before… Too late.
“They say a creature lives beneath the surface of the lake,” Beth whispered as she stood with Louis, gazing at the moon’s gently distorted reflection.
“I thought this was supposed to be romantic,” chuckled Louis. “Wait here. I’ll get champagne.”
But when Louis returned, Beth was nowhere to be found.
“You ever have a religious experience?” Rob interrupted Jerry’s silent musings.
“What do you mean?”
“You know, divine intervention, a miracle, anything like that?”
“I used to have a severe allergy to cats. But one day it just went away. My doctor said it was a miracle. You?”
“Nope.”
I guess this is it, William thought as consciousness drifted away. I’m dead. At least I’ll know what it’s like.
William awoke to the sound of rain… but that was wrong. Dirt. Burial! I can’t move, can’t even breathe. I’m dead. Trapped. So this is what it’s like.
Annie used to imagine that her thumb and forefinger were a raygun. A responsible girl, she never pointed her raygun at others. It was a good thing, too, because one day her imagination won. Standing amidst raining rock rubble, she vowed to user her powers for good.
“Plus ça change, plus c’est la meme chose.” Aaron was a master of foreign language clichés, and with Jim, his best friend, moving away, he was in his glory. “Qué Será, Será.” But when Jim punched him in the nose, he was speechless. C’est la vie.
Jenny cursed as the car sputtered to a halt. Out of gas! She’d forgotten to check the gauge. It was dark, and had been miles since she’d seen another car. With a sigh, she stepped out of the car. She saw headlights! Not headlights. Eyes.
Misery Moms was a breakout hit. Who would’ve thought that soccer moms could do hip hop? But the teenagers loved them. Tapered jeans were back in vogue. Rich kids got minivans on their sixteenth birthdays. But their own kids wouldn’t be seen with them.
Nikolai was the best watchmaker in town. Sometimes, he would repair clocks, but it took dedication and talent to work on the scale of a watch. Such tiny gears, levers, springs. Clocks weren’t bad, but a watch was something to be proud of.
Tonight, Dr. Schmendrake would rule the world. He had succeeded where everyone else had failed. He’d created microscopic nanobots that would secretly live inside people’s brains. Nobody knew they were there, but everyone would be under their — and under Dr. Schmendrake’s — influence!
The phone rang as I signed for the delivery. “Hello?”
“Open it now!”
“Excuse me?”
“The package.”
“How—”
“I’m watching you now.”
I cut the connection and dialed the phone company.
“Ma’am? The call is coming from… inside the package!”
The Madagascar hissing cockroach can reach three inches fully grown. The Madagascar hissing cockroach is usually found in rotting logs on the island of Madagascar. But tonight, the Madagascar hissing cockroach could be found in Judy’s bed. Lots of them.
“Where’s Adams today?”
“You didn’t hear? She got fired.”
“What? Why?”
“She wasn’t being a ‘team player’. Apparently, she’s been driving a hybrid car. If you work for National Oil, you need to show your support of the company!”
My heart skips a beat as the train pulls into Midtown station. This is where she gets on. Always this car. I’m always there to return her smile. It would be easier if I lived on this line.
My office is in a rough part of town. Most of my clients belong there. But not this classy dame. Even being here at all… she must be in serious trouble. And I was gonna help her.
Every day is the same. Wake up, shower, drive to work. Work is the same. The same people, the same stories, the same problems. Drive home, eat, sleep. Again. Again. Soon I can stop thinking altogether.
Such a union as this was doomed from the start. It was an affront to the laws of nature. What kind of love could a policy writer and a claims adjuster ever hope to share?
Hawkins couldn’t contain his excitement. Ancient computers! Proof of a society even more advanced than our own. How could they have been so far ahead? Their keyboards, all of them, used the Dvorak layout!
Darkness fades, revealing the outline of a backlit head. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I try to answer. Can’t. My body convulses with the attempt to speak. Coughing blood.
I do know.
The headaches kept getting worse. Aspirin was useless. His wife suggested a cool towel over his eyes. But after his head fell off, she thought perhaps they should have called a doctor.
Jerry woke with a start, his nightmare fading into the recesses of his mind. Sighing, he flicked on the bedside lamp. No light came.
There, barely visible in the darkness — movement!
